How to Make Your Home Feel Comfortable Again
Deployments sometimes last many months, and for military members and their families, that can feel like forever. During their time apart, military members and their loved ones grow and change, so homecomings can require a bit of an adjustment for all parties. Here are some ways to help make the transition a little easier for you, your spouse and the whole family when he or she returns home from deployment.
- Make Your Spouse Feel Welcome
Let your spouse know how happy you are that he or she is home by making their homecoming a warm and anticipated occasion. . This could be in the form of a handmade sign, a plate of homemade cookies or making his or her favorite meal. Keep in mind that this doesn’t necessarily need to be in the form of a large welcome-home party or another grand gesture, though; it’s the little things that tend to mean the most. Your spouse is going to be exhausted, so they may not be prepared for anything that seems over the top or takes them out of their traditional comfort zone. When you have a chance, a good way to see what kind of homecoming they would appreciate is to try to ask them via phone, Skype or internet before their deployment ends.
- Avoid Overscheduling
Naturally, there’s a lot of excitement when a military member returns home. Some may feel the need to immediately make up for lost time and missed birthdays and holidays, but it’s important to give your spouse time to transition. He or she may feel overwhelmed if they have too many places to be and friends and loved ones to see right away. Spending time together as a family doing simple day-to-day activities like making breakfast, going to the park or even grocery shopping, can be helpful as your spouse settles into the routines of home life again. The last thing you want is for your spouse to feel stressed out or overwhelmed with too much activity. Having some free, unstructured downtime can help him or her unwind and feel more comfortable.
- Prioritize Communication
Good communication is essential in any kind of relationship, but it’s especially important as your spouse is readjusting to life at home. Be open with each other about how you’re feeling and fill your spouse in on what your family’s routine has been like while he or she has been away. Discuss how the two of you want to handle family responsibilities moving forward, too. You may have become used to getting the kids up for school, grocery shopping and helping with homework each day, but your spouse may appreciate the opportunity to help in those areas now. On the other hand, your spouse may need some extra time to re-adapt to his or her role in the family, so remember to be patient and supportive.
- Reconnect with your Spouse
A lot can happen in the time frame of a deployment, so it’s normal for couples to feel a bit emotionally distant from one another when a spouse returns home. Make sure you spend time reconnecting, whether that means visiting your favorite restaurant once or twice a month, catching a new movie or just taking it easy at home and cooking a new meal together. Once your spouse feels a bit more settled in, the two of you could even plan a vacation together. Even if it’s just a short trip, a getaway may be a great way for you to both to relax and focus on each other. And remember to be realistic in your expectations – readjusting will take some time for the entire family. Even if it takes a while to feel in synch with your partner after a deployment, take comfort in knowing the transition is normal and temporary.
At PrimeLending, we value our military members, veterans and their families. We know home takes on even more meaning for families who are separated because of military deployments. It’s our privilege to offer a variety of VA loan options and helping to make the process of getting a home loan for active-duty military and veteran borrowers simple and stress-free. To learn more about your VA loan options, contact one of our qualified home loan experts today.